Wakey, Wakey!

Aloha Darlings.

I figuratively only woke up about three hours ago. I've been in a bit of a haze for the last little while, deeply unmotivated to work and in general kind of fuzzy-headed about my responsibilities. I looked at the mountain of work and preparation ahead for all of the work-related projects I have initiated and then combined with some unresolved personal business concerns and felt those compelling stirrings of "ostrich-itis." You know that feeling when you get overwhelmed and want to run away and hide? Yeah. Had that going on in a big way. But dammit all, when you're a grown-up, you just can't do that. Crap. (Unless it's to your Mommy's house after you sign divorce papers.)

Anyhoo, the good news is, I'm all industrious again! Granted, I've got lots to do, and it's a wee bit daunting, but it won't go away until I attack it, so here I go. (except for this brief interlude to tell you all about it instead of actually working, but anyway)

I think that it comes of making a few resolutions that have relieved the weight off of my mind somewhat. Some weights I've exchanged for others, but those other ones are more bearable, if you know what I mean.

For example, realizing that there is a way to repair some of the relationship damage between me and some of my estranged friends that I incurred during the course of the icky past two years and to decide upon a manageable course by which I can tackle it.

It also comes of deciding that come hell or high water, I'm just going to stay right where I am in my present apartment and wait until I can get a decent roommate or until I can get a second job. Whichever comes first. I can't afford to move, pay a first and last month's rent somewhere and furnish an apartment (X got all the furniture). Sure, my landlords are a wee bit OCD, but they sure do take good care of the property. And they'll force me to be really responsible. No late payment of rent or else they'll toss my black booty out to the curb. And it's amazing how frugal and disciplined I can be when it's that or disaster.

Of course this means that I will be stupid poor instead of the broke fool that I am at present, but as long as I can pay for a roof over my head, metropass, electricity, the gym, and food (which I can, although the food thing won't be plentiful or varied for awhile), I'm good to go. This means that my hair will be crazy. I'm talking about nothing but braids. No pretty perm. The beauty regimen will simplify a lot. Like basically be all about me being clean and not having flaky skin.

So if you're feeling like you'd like to invite me over for dinners and whatnot, let me tell you right now I'm prepared to swallow my pride and your food with equal alacrity.
Social life that consists of me actually "going out" will come when aforementioned roommate or second job comes along. And really, how long could that be? (I know, I know, famous last words, blah blah blah) I'm young, talented, and cute. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me! (Does anyone remember where that quote comes from? 'Cause I don't.)

I'm disappointed that I can't afford the therapy anymore at present, because it was so good for me, but since I was not in any danger of going postal, just of repeating my disastrous dating patterns--okay, okay, I know there are other disastrous patterns too, but first thing's first, and that thing is survival. The goodies will come later.

It's all a relief to just make that decision and commit to it because quite frankly, it's a loverly apartment, and I don't know that I'll never find a better one at such short notice. And I'll be able to have sleepovers again! (But not for you, fellas.) And for the first time in my life, I'm going to live alone! Which is pretty darn exciting, I've got to say.

Sadly, I'll have to take some gigs out of town with the casino band, to make ends meet. I've got two of them scheduled this summer. A weekend in July and a week in August. It's easy work, although at times demoralizing, but I really need the money. (Wow, why did I feel like I whore when I said that?)

And of course, I've been able to catch up with some friends that I haven't spent time with in awhile. And I'm going to spend some time with more of them soon. (Bill, I'm talking 'bout you, baby!) AND Father's Day is coming up, and 'though I don't say it nearly often enough, I deeply dig my Daddy, yo. He is where it's at. He's the Champion. He's my Champion. Yeah! So I can hardly wait to go over and hang out with him. One of the beauties of Father's Day with my Dad is that he too understands the inextricable link of the good times, the beloved people and the sweet, sweet goodness of FOOD. I have three words for you:

Bar. Bee. Cue.

Spending time with the people I love really soothes my soul, you know? Missing the people I love is a weight, let me tell ya. And seeing them lifts the load.

So let's get lifted, Baby! (heh heh) You know who you are. Call me and let's chill.
Okay, I'm getting back to work.