Could it be...

the light at the end of the tunnel?

Oh snap! No, that was just a migraine. I saw my dad in the hospital yesterday after his hip surgery. Morphine all of a sudden doesn't seem as awesome as I was convinced it would be. Poor Daddy. Mind you, he's still pretty darned hilarious. I'm not sure if the stress of seeing him in that kind of pain, sleep deprivation, work pressure and hormones did the rest. Probably. (There is a slight possibility that three beers and a gin and tonic the night before may have played a role in that as well, but I doubt it.)

Well, one way or another, I've got to keep my head up. I've got my very own seasonal cycle of living and working intensely followed by a crash that takes a couple of months to climb out of before I do it all again. The crash sucks, but it must be working for me, otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it. I'll never forget the monotony and misery and sameness of PS-Hell.

P.S. There is the smallest chance that my work situation will improve. More to come on that later. Like, when I know precisely how it will improve. It may mean not working 60-70 hours a week on three to four different gigs.

P.P.S. No matter how entertaining you may have found Bloodsport (featuring Jean Claude Van Damme) back in the day, I'm here to tell you: you can never go back. Watching Forrest Whittaker, I felt (in equal measure) deep pity and an overwhelming urge to set things on fire.

I'm telling you...don't do it. Not even a little.

To be honest

I'm feeling kind of low. I'm sure it's just exacerbated by fatigue and the fact that I haven't taken a proper vacation that was sufficient to recharge my batteries, but there it is. The small things that are getting me down in and of themselves aren't enough to bring me down, but the collective is doing it. I'm not going to enumerate them, because there's nothing new to say. It's a version or another of the ongoing things that pop up and bite me in the butt.

I just can't seem to muster up the energy to do things that are good for me lately, like exercise, grocery shop, cook healthy food, work out, go to church and read my bible, see my friends, write in my journal...Being fat is a drain, man. I can't believe I'm (once again) back where I started.

It seems that I can function just enough to keep my head above water and a roof over that. Well, what else can I do except work and hope that it pulls me out of the mire again. It's worked before.

(Yeah, nothing witty or entertaining today. Maybe tomorrow.)

The deep breath before the plunge...

It's time. Things are going to start getting busy again. No more evenings on the

SOFA OF DOOM!

But Lordy, it was fun while it lasted. Time to get back to work, and back to working out (because of course I've gained almost all of the weight I lost this year) and I actually feel positive about it. Well, more ready for it than I did last week, for example.

For your own sakes...

...don't bother seeing Rush Hour 3 in the theatres. It's a rental. It's also weak and racist and homophobic and formulaic, but well it seems like this year, any movie that ends in 3 is going to be rubbish.

I wish

I was home again.

(and thirty pounds lighter, but that's secondary.)