All good things...

...sadly can't last forever. Today is my last day in Ottawa, where I've chilled with Mom, slept (although not as much as I needed), read books, watched movies, and ate shocking amounts of food. It has been deeply good.
Although sadly, I look like the Michelin Man (which couldn't come at a worse time--horrors!--right before I have to go sing in AC at the casino for a few days) I find myself in either an advanced state of denial or one of rebellion about the whole thing.
Either way, I've just about had it with the kind of job for which my appearance is more important than my ability (although, to be strictly fair, it is not the way my truly decent colleagues feel about me).
One can never say never (particularly when you live from contract to contract) but I can say quite confidently that I would be ecstatic to never, ever have to sing in casinos ever again.

But enough of that. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and best to all you you this holiday season, whatever your faith may be. I'm not sure whether or not I'll post again before the new year (seeing as I have two scripts to bang through and start memorizing before January 9th and haven't even begun to look at them although I've had them with me all week) so if I don't, let me just say this:

This past year has been a horrible one for the entire world. So much tragedy and disaster on a global scale, and so much heartache and suffering on a personal level: not only in my life, but in so many other's lives, and perhaps yours. Things just seem to keep on going from bad to worse, with no apparent end in sight.
But you know what? There have been some incredible moments this year too. Some monumental victories, and also some incidental, sunny moments that relieve the gloom, if only for a little while. They may not outweigh the challenges, but they do lighten the load. And for those moments, I am grateful, and I must remind myself to cling to those things, those moments, and most of all those people who make it worthwhile to carry on.

Because in the end, that's the stuff that stays with you when there's nothing left, isn't it? To all of you who who've made it worthwhile for me to keep going through what is hands down the worst year of my life up until now, I thank you and love you.


Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard'
Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

Boogie Down Motown

I saw the Rene Simard production of Génération Motown at the Hull Casino, and let me tell ya, it was a good show. We were at a table right in the front row, and it was cool! Big ups to my babees Snooky, MC (who is hands down, my favourite person to sing with EVER), and Dawn! The little things that got on my nerves didn't really leave a lasting impression on me, because the setup was hot, the music selection was the bomb, and the dancers were amazing (although there was this one scary dancer chick who was scarily coked-up hyper and was wearing a pair of pants that gave her a serious case of camel toe. Let me tell you, cute as she was, noone wanted to see her hot dog bun.)

And dayumn, they had a new addition to the troupe, Franck. Brother can SANG. That is all.

At one point, when the Rick James tribute came out (yes, you heard me) I desperately, burningly, wanted to shout out, "CHARLIE MURPHY!!!" but I was too close to the stage. If I'd only have been like, three rows back, I could have been loud enough for them to hear me, but not close enough for them to know it was me.

Sniff!

Rent was so good! Jesse L. Martin is amazing! and so was Wilson Jermaine Heredia. I was weepy for a solid fifteen minutes after I left the theater, just thinking about that performance. They were just so GOOD! I'm on the verge of crying again. What fun! It feels good to cry at movies. I'd so much rather cry for a movie than for my life, you know what I'm sayin?

Ahhhh...that's better.

Chillin' chez Maman, eating yummy (if not strictly health-conscious) food, reading books, going shopping, watching movies, uninterrupted surfing time all makes for a truly dynomite beginning of the holidays. I made it through the semester alive! H'ray!

Tomorrow I'm going to go see Rent with my Mom, and maybe after we'll go out and eat some ribs. (yum!) And on Wednesday, I'm going to see Génération Motown at the Casino! Some of my friends are in it, so I'm excited to finally get to see the show! Third row seats too, baby!

It's unbelievable, now that I'm in Ontario (and Mom has cable) I'm seeing my friends in all these movies, tv shows, and commercials that don't seem to get aired much in Montreal. I'm shrieking at least two times a day with excitement. Which is quite a fair bit of progress from the days when I'd see former classmates and colleagues onscreen (big or little) and be thinking "what the hell am I doing with my life, then?" -type reflections of my own loserdom. Now I'm just happy for them.

And nowadays I know I'm not a loser.
I may be a little chubby.
But still cute nonetheless.
Which helps.

Finally

The semester is done, I'm chillin at Mom's and I'm trying to catch up on sleep. I may just eat far too much, my fatness be damned. I'll be back in January, but I'll try to keep y'all posted of any new and exciting events and/or revelations that come up. For now, all that's happened is this:

Am re-reading Memoirs of a Geisha for the 11th time.
Played Cranium for the first time.

It's all good.