All good things...

...sadly can't last forever. Today is my last day in Ottawa, where I've chilled with Mom, slept (although not as much as I needed), read books, watched movies, and ate shocking amounts of food. It has been deeply good.
Although sadly, I look like the Michelin Man (which couldn't come at a worse time--horrors!--right before I have to go sing in AC at the casino for a few days) I find myself in either an advanced state of denial or one of rebellion about the whole thing.
Either way, I've just about had it with the kind of job for which my appearance is more important than my ability (although, to be strictly fair, it is not the way my truly decent colleagues feel about me).
One can never say never (particularly when you live from contract to contract) but I can say quite confidently that I would be ecstatic to never, ever have to sing in casinos ever again.

But enough of that. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and best to all you you this holiday season, whatever your faith may be. I'm not sure whether or not I'll post again before the new year (seeing as I have two scripts to bang through and start memorizing before January 9th and haven't even begun to look at them although I've had them with me all week) so if I don't, let me just say this:

This past year has been a horrible one for the entire world. So much tragedy and disaster on a global scale, and so much heartache and suffering on a personal level: not only in my life, but in so many other's lives, and perhaps yours. Things just seem to keep on going from bad to worse, with no apparent end in sight.
But you know what? There have been some incredible moments this year too. Some monumental victories, and also some incidental, sunny moments that relieve the gloom, if only for a little while. They may not outweigh the challenges, but they do lighten the load. And for those moments, I am grateful, and I must remind myself to cling to those things, those moments, and most of all those people who make it worthwhile to carry on.

Because in the end, that's the stuff that stays with you when there's nothing left, isn't it? To all of you who who've made it worthwhile for me to keep going through what is hands down the worst year of my life up until now, I thank you and love you.


Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard'
Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou